Do you sometimes wonder why your partner always bear the brunt of your stress and frustrations? Why you are cranky or mean to the people most close to you? Why you lash out at the people you love most in the world?
Our partners are the people we are most close to and the people that we are most open and natural with. This close bond between partners or between husband and wife is usually a positive attribute and one which many of us yearn for. However, it is this very intimacy between partners which often leads us to forget our usual social constraints and it is not uncommon for partners to lash out at each other as a way of expressing their own inner frustrations or fears.
More often then not, the underlying causes of your angry emotions have nothing to do with your partner. Indeed, lashing out at your partner is more commonly an expression of your own feelings of tension, stress and worry. Perhaps your work is high pressure, or you have financial worries, or you haven’t been sleeping well. Maybe you have a young baby who is crying all the time, or teenagers who are being difficult, or a parent who is sick or dying. If you have a short fuse, these sorts of stresses and worries can be powerful catalysts for aggressive and inappropriate behaviour towards your partner.
Internal fears and anxieties can also lead you to communicate angrily with your partner. Your own personal insecurities can lead you to misinterpret signs from your partner and respond inappropriately to communication from your partner. This can be extremely confusing for your partner and in turn lead to more aggressive interaction.
Aggressive communication does not need to be a facet of your personality or of your relationship. You can learn to react differently. You can learn to communicate differently.
A professional anger management counsellor or psychologist can help you identify your angry triggers, and calm and control your angry responses. Call us today to see how we can help you lead a calmer and less aggressive home life.